Since a few years, I feel way too stressed to do resolutions for the new year. How about you?
I do have a few plans, tho, also regarding some of my habits. So maybe that’s some kind of new year’s resolution:
keep my flat tidy, declutter and re-organize some stuff, especially my crafting supplies
more journaling 💜 and getting back into drawing and painting again
stretches and mobility for my body – I’m getting older and I feel it in my bones
vacuum my flat in decent intervals
plan my vacation days better and distribute them better throughout the year
I know, some of those sound like pretty “normal person everyday things”, but since my last burnout in 2020, I just can’t do stuff the normal way anymore. I also really feel like I changed a lot in the past three years and became a different person in that time. I moved on from a lot of stuff and I believe I can absolutely be proud of myself.
NYE 2023 plans, maybe
I would like to go on a little vacation next NYE. Since my dog Lucas does not take fireworks well at all, it would be nice to do some days of hermit mode somewhere reclusive. It would be nice to do this as a reset of the old and a fresh start into the new year – without all the stress and noise. But let’s see if we can make it happen.
Mid February, there’s going to be a week-trip to Malmö, Sweden. I have to leave Lucas at home, so I gotta ask my parents, if they are willing to take care of the little man for 5 days. I hope it won’t be too much of a hassle for them. Let’s see!
I’m depressed. My test today was still positive and I’m starting to lose hope to spend NYE with my bf’s family in Nuremberg. I am also still having symptoms: runny nose, coughing, mucus… I’m so tired of this BS, I’m so fed up with being sick. COVID just sucks every motivation out of me. 😔
Tuesday – 27.12.2022
I still feel utterly depressed and it’s all a drag, but it got a little better since yesterday?! But I still don’t know if I will be going to see my SO for NYE or not, I have been lonely and alone for Christmas… It was all way too much to take for me. I’m still testing positive today, but the stripe was so light, almost invisible. Not sure if I did it right? So I did a second test later that day, it was the same light stripe.
So, it’s finally getting better! That is something.
Wednesday – 28.12.2022
OMG, I’m testing negative! YAY!
I’m so happy.. and also, my mental health is back on track. Well, it wasn’t too great before the Covid infection, but it’s been better. So I’m kinda relieved I’m feeling a tad bit more like myself again. Phew… Still having a cough and my nose is so, so runny.
Thursday – 29.12.2022
YES. Again, negative! I told my Mom and asked if she wanted to meet up and she suggested to go fetch a coffee together. So, this is it. I guess I am done with this Covid infection, for now.
I’m also feeling way better. Like the fog has lifted. There’s a hint of motivation to tidy up my flat a little and put everything back in order.
I got sick with a sore throat on Thursday, 15.12.2022, in the evening. I went to work the next day, feeling kinda like developing a cold. Maybe mild rise of temperature, nothing serious. I got real sick the following Saturday, 17.12.2022, an tested positive on Sunday, 18.12.2022, and got a positive PCR test result back on Monday, 19.12.2022.
On Wednesday, 28.12.2022, I tested negative for the first time after the infection.
I hated this sickness very much and I do not recommend getting it. It’s awful, it messes with your brain so much and it’s really ugly. STAY SAFE! See you next year! ✨💜
Read more about my Covid adventure and how much I hate it – another 5 day log. This might be a little messed up, because I failed to write down stuff as it happened and my brain is a mess, too. So… I’m probably throwing facts into the wrong days. Bear with me.
After first feeling slightly better on Tuesday, and my voice gradually coming back, I felt a little less good on Wednesday. My parents came by today to deliver some groceries I asked for.
I feel my cough is getting more dry while I have a pressure in my chest indicating… I’m full of mucus that wants out, but the coughing was not strong enough to get it all out. Augh. Also, this illness is massively messing with brain chemistry. It’s awful, I feel super depressed and just lifeless.
Thursday – 22.12.2022
Still sick. Slowly coming to the conclusion that I will not spend Christmas with my parents after all. At least I felt well enough to be cooking something for my comfort: Spaghetti Carbonara. I was craving this so much! I asked my Mom to get me the ingredients, so I can make it. And I did. And it was delicious. So that was a little spark of light.
Lucas was being a little weird today, being very squeaky and I didn’t figure out what his problem was. In the evening, he just wanted to be alone, it seemed, and he vanished into the sleeping room. I thought he might just not feel to great himself, so I let him be. And later that night, I found him soundly sleeping on my bed. That poor puppo, maybe he was just not feeling great, maybe he’s getting sick, too.
Friday – 23.12.2022
Getting closer to Christmas. I feel sad. I started testing myself again, and of course, it’s positive, still. One little spark of light today was the delivery of yarn I ordered to crochet a hooded cowl.
It took me several attempts to get it somewhat right and also, I had to unravel a lot of progress in the process. But I finally got there, even if I got the stitch count wrong, and I continued and it looks so nice. I’m so happy with the outcome so far.
Saturday – 24.12.2022
So, today is Christmas, at least in Germany, and I’m alone instead of sitting in the kitchen with my mother, making Tapas and being cozy, I am home alone, on my couch, crocheting, eating sweets to cope and still being Covid-positive.
Sunday, Christmas Day – 25.12.2022
Still got a positive Covid test. I’m tired… the lines are also more prominent again. Let’s see how many more blog posts I need to get all of this covered until testing negative. 🥺
I’ve been wanting to write more blog posts and post more art on my own website/Blog for months and I just can’t get my head around doing it…
Now I’m reviving Tumblr and crossposting seems like the way to go. Writing on one platform, distributing it over the internet to the other platforms I feed. Maybe changing to Tumblr/WordPress completely in the end, it would be so much less stressful? I guess. I don’t know for sure!
Just thinking aloud. It’s all a mess atm. Anyhow, my Tumblr is valhundart.tumblr.com – feel free to follow me there!
Well. It‘s going really well, compared to when he moved in in January. I am starting to fully enjoy my walks with Lucas. Although he can be very annoying (he‘s a male dog, he has to sniff everything…), still wants to eat too much from the street and can be quite a brat, ignoring me, bark at other dogs… I love him and I love our walks, nonetheless.
It has become such a routine. Getting up in the morning, go for the first walk, food for Lucas, Cappuccino for me. Our mornings look all the same, but it is good to have this routine – for him and for me. It improved my mental health to get up at almost the same time every day, because I also go to bed at around the same time every evening.
During working days, I am strictly keeping my times and breaks. At noon, I go out with Lucas for about 1h. We don‘t only walk, but normally I also play with him, let him play on his own with pine cones or let him seek for treats in the grass, so he has some brain work to do, too. I think he really enjoys these action driven activities we do together.
In the evening, I give him food and we go out later after that. Normally, now that temperatures allow it, I take my time with him, doing some extra walking exercise to keep up those muscles. He needs them to have a sturdy body, since he is such a long dog and I don‘t want him to get joint or back issues. And, it‘s good for me, too. Not that I lost weight, but at least I can easily fulfill my daily step goal of 10k steps per day. And, man, that feels really good!
Yeah, keeping a dog is not only just having a pet, it’s having a partner at your side, it‘s a commitment and a hobby. It takes a lot of your time. I never expected it to be this stressful and fulfilling at the same time. I wouldn’t want it any other way by now.
Okay, so what else.
We still have to train the „staying alone“ and some other things. And I still want him to „ask, if it‘s okay to take X food from the street“, before he just does it (so I have control over it and can allow of decline it). Here in Berlin, it‘s a big issue and a big problem. People leave their garbage everywhere (yeah, I know other cities are not better, but we don‘t live in „other cities“, we live in Berlin) and it‘s pretty annoying to tell your dog like „no, no no… no!“ all the time. So I am working to fix this, since a “no” kind of leaves a negative smack to out walkies, and after all, I really want us to enjoy it while simultaneously learn from each other. Recently, some new problems popped up and I feared it would get out of hand. But actually, maybe, I was overreacting and it stressed me and Lucas.
I always have to remind myself that my dog is just as relaxed and/or stressed as I am. The end of the leash, it’s me who’s holding it, after all. I am trying to focus on not being too impulsive, stressing or pressing about what I want from him and I think it already showed in one of our walks. I hope we are making progress here. Nevertheless, I think I will consult a trainer to fix some of mine and Lucas behaviors. It might be a good idea.
And I also should not give him too much food… I‘m working on this, too. It‘s not his fault and so far, the only one of us being overweight is me. 😉 So that‘s under control, but still. „Doggy look cute? Aww.. give treats.“ – I’m a bad person, haha.
I got over my puppy blues and am now just so happy to have him here with me. It‘s like it was meant to be. But also, not really. We have to keep working on our relationship. But we‘re on the very best way to have a really intense and awesome time together!
Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or feedback in the comment section below. 🥰